I Needed Saving Too

I survived a version of motherhood I wasn’t sure I would survive.

There are parts of my motherhood journey that I don’t talk about often.

Not because they didn’t happen, but because they were painful.

I became a mother and somewhere along the way, I lost pieces of myself.

I was tired in a way sleep couldn’t fix. I was overwhelmed in ways I didn’t always know how to explain. I was trying to be a good mother while quietly struggling to recognize the woman looking back at me.

And there were moments when the pain became so loud that I didn’t know how I was going to keep going.

I had a child who needed me.

But I also needed someone to remind me that I mattered, too.

That was one of the hardest things for me to understand.

Motherhood teaches us to put everyone first. To sacrifice. To push through. To keep going even when we’re running on empty.

But sometimes pushing through isn’t strength.

Sometimes strength looks like saying:

“I need help.”

I am a suicide attempt survivor.

And saying that out loud is still difficult.

But I refuse to let shame keep me quiet when my story could help another mother feel less alone.

Because I know there is a mother who is hurting right now.

Maybe she’s postpartum.

Maybe she’s exhausted.

Maybe she’s overwhelmed by motherhood, marriage, finances, work, or simply the weight of trying to hold everything together.

Maybe she’s smiling right now while falling apart inside.

Mama, I need you to hear me.

You don’t have to disappear to get relief.

You don’t have to carry this alone.

You don’t have to be okay today.

But please stay.

Ask for help.

Tell someone the truth about how you’re feeling.

Let someone love you through the moment you can’t love yourself through it.

And if you know a mother who doesn’t seem like herself, please check on her.

Don’t just ask, “How are you?”

Ask, “How are you really doing?”

And sometimes, be brave enough to ask, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”

Asking won’t put the thought in her head.

It might open the door she desperately needs to walk through.

I am still here.

My daughter still has her mother.

And I get to keep discovering who I am beyond the darkest moments of my life.

I survived.

And if you’re struggling right now, I want you to believe that you can survive this moment, too.

Your story is not finished.

Please stay. 🤎

If you or someone you love is experiencing a suicidal crisis, call or text 988 in the U.S. You don’t have to face that moment alone.